Day 42 - 8/23/20 - Rest day
I’m understanding the importance of rest.
I’m understanding the importance of rest.
What have we here
just a moment in time
graceful in the way
that we dance between the lines
of a waking hour
and the darkness come
will we ever wake up
to see how far we’ve gone
sun will shine
it’ll light our way
this is what I look forward to
every single day
but with a pounding’ in my ears
and a heart full of fears
i don’t know if it’ll ever
finally reappear
I saw it once
in the morning light
a tinge of pink and orange
I had it in my sights
and with a great unknowing
I let it keep going
far back away
it’ll never quit flowing
it’s a peaceful light now
and I can now lie on down
I’ve seen it to the end
let round the other bend
it’s okay to let go
sometimes failure will show
you a thousand new ways
to keep that flame afloat
Tonight I opted for so much needed family time rather than digging into writing another multi-track reggae song. This is an instrumental improvisation on my parent’s piano. This is the first and only take of this song.
I like to joke that my piano/instrumental songs that I improvise are “bullshit” and just throwaway pieces equivalent to just throwing paint on a canvas with no particular intention. My Mother disagrees. She’s not wrong.. :)
This is a Marigold that I grew from a seed that I got from my dear friend Ashley (she’s the namesake for “Moonlight Medicine”, check it out on Spotify, check her medicinal herb shop out on Instagram") that I gave to my Mother. I grew two, mine died, this one lives. I have a lot to learn.
I’ve been told that
I can live in harmony
with life and all the things that surround me
Let go of the way that
I believe, that life should be and
I can just accept that
I’m not in control
my role is channeling the light within
And challenging the things that lead to sufferin
to everything, including me
Surrender to the life that’s
moving through you
and you’ll find who you are
melt away the ice you’re caught up in
so you can feel the heat of the star
we’re dancin’ round
and you’re stepping on toes
not following the lead, don’t you wanna know?
where you’d be if you lean into the rhythm
of the movement of life
let’s see where it goes
Well, I try to remind myself
one day I will die
no matter what I try
it’s the right thing to do now
learn to accept that fact somehow
‘Cause I wanna live in a way
that gives every moment it’s due
I wanna engage and stop livin it safe
and I don’t know
any other way
except to
Surrender to the life that’s
moving through you
and you’ll find who you are
melt away the ice you’re caught up in
so you can feel the heat of the star
we’re dancin’ round
and you’re stepping on toes
not following the lead, don’t you wanna know?
where you’d be if you lean into the rhythm
of the movement of life
let’s see where it goes
Another banger… based on the last Niyama we covered in a class I’ve been taking, “Ishvara Pranidhana” about surrender. In addition to “the 4 reminders” of Buddhism, referring to aging, illness, death, and that everything you cherish will go away some day. Heavy shit, but it doesn’t have to be.
oh I don’t know
what the truth is anymore
but did i know?
did I ever know?
I’m doing what I can
I’ve spent time
readin’
and listenin to the ones I
didn’t know, they didn’t have the floor
Remember the black box
I’ve heard shit talk
but
For me, a moment to notice
complete void and showing of
the people who’s voices are lost
the ones who lives are a cost
of the ignorance of people like me
so don’t you go and think it was a failure you see
I know now the reason why
upset by the treason I
see in the actions they take
god damn this world could be a more beautiful place
We all used to be gardeners of the earth
and if you believe
in old Adam and Eve
why you so blind
why can’t you see
We are, the human race
but now we’re so divided
what a rrtragic waste
Fightin for a chance to live
in what was once was the garden of eden
You’re but a child to me
The power and rule you seek
short sighted, look ahead
what will it matter when we’re all long dead?
Where does this all end?
What am I missing?
I’m trying to peice it together
nothing makes sense, past present and where we are headed
I won’t give up, though
I believe the power that I feel
inside of me
Until I am gone, I know
I can bring a lightness to the places I go
And if you’re with me here
sit and trust to the inner energy you might fear
we’ll never reach that place
unless we bind together
use our power and embrace
Oh, we got a long road yet to lay
Know, we’ve got to pick it up, pick up the pace
And people like me, we’ve got to listen and share the reins
Bronner’s got the right idea, says we are all one, no evil’s yet won
We are, the human race
but now we’re so divided
what a tragic waste
Fightin for a chance to live
in what was once was the garden of eden
You’re but a child to me
The power and rule you seek
short sighted, look ahead
what will it matter when we’re all long dead?
we take it on
feel the weight upon our head
sometimes a grip around our necks
or a clamp around our chest
we push on
grow accustom to the pain
never notice until we slow down
and we see who’s got the reins
is it a blessing in disguise?
see the writing in the clouds and
are we slowly hypnotized?
by the words and how they sound
we’ll never know the the things we hold
as long we don’t take our eyes off
days long past and those
that we have not yet known
every moment we let slip by
brings us
closer to the day
the one that we will die
and so if I could offer up
a lesson that I’ve learned
it’s that we practice to accept
what we knows comin’ our way, hey!
if we surrender to
the beauty of the
motion of the way life paints
we stay
within the lines
and we won’t suffer
but the moment we resist
to what we see and we can’t change
we’re bound to welcome in
our own unhappiness
I’m no teacher
if what you hear from me don’t reach ya
there’s plenty of ways
to move around the sun
All I, wanted to share
are the things that I have found
that helped me find the ground
so I encourage you to seek
your own philosophy
so you can reach a
place of peace
and maybe
you are there
and maybe you’ve got peace to spare
so spread it all around
share it with the whole town
lord knows that we could use it
don’t need to be set to music
all the ways that we breathe life into
this spinnin island set in
the middle of outer space
you are golden in that way
so don’t you forget who and what you are
but at the end of the day
This one took energy out of me. It “turn around” like “Over the Moon” kind of did. And it definitely wasn’t as fun and energizing and incredible as “Better” was. Oh well, that’s part of the challenge! Can’t wait to go to bed, completely forget about this one and start anew tomorrow.
It’s the middle of the night
girl
and you’ve come callin’ at me twice
you’re
just gonna hafta, come on over early next time
You know we both want you to be here
but I passed out & fell asleep, dear
tomorrow try again
I guess I’ll see you in the morning
Oh, and, you know I missed you tonight
this house was so empty and quiet
You fill it up like you fill me with your love
Whether, it’s the record player
or the food we always make together
this house ain’t a home with you there
let’s, never forget the way
the world feels when at night you stay
over, the moon begs us to move, babe
it’s the, best, way we live our lives
together forever it’s simple but I like it
so real, life is truly better when you’re near
Oh whatchuwanna do today?
I got some plans
but I’ll have it your way
tomorrow’s mine, so I’ll do whatever you say
maybe we go lay a blanket in the park
take our bikes and ride the city ‘till dark
I’m even good
layin’ around not leavin’ this spot
there’s plenty going on around this town
but my favorites clownin round with you
it doesn’t matter
the things we do don’t have to be new
love the way we make time for each other
but also, live our lives at the same time
I do mine you do yours
we’re stronger that way, but of course
let’s, never forget the way
the world feels when at night you stay
over, the moon begs us to move, babe
it’s the, best, way we live our lives
together forever it’s simple but I like it
so real, life is truly better when you’re near
My computer ran out of memory so.. here’s a nice picture of me that Chase (or potentially Mak) took in the before times.
So needed.
it’s a heat wave
in the summertime
and where you gonna find yourself?
oh where you gonna be at?
oh where you gonna be at?
I’m gonna find myself on the water
and all my friends’ll be there too
yeah I know you’re not tryin’ to get much hotter
so baby come grab your bathing suit
meet me there
we’ll find our own
waves to crash
a peice of
shade to drink our favorite booze
come on you got nothing to lose
In this world
that is burnin’ down
grateful for you by my side
love the way we build each other up
love the way you’re strong and kind
All the ways you make
the things that I say
the moves that I make
my day to day
better
I’m crazy for you, for forever
I’m gonna pack up my car
and drive to the middle of the woods
I wanna see, the way, the stars look
without the city lights
the way that they should
and you’ll be right there
in the passenger seat
navigatin’, playin the DJ
there isn’t anywhere else
I’d rather be
just
you and me the trees
nobody else but the birds and bees
clear our minds and bodies
get in tune, with
the natural things
In this world
that is burnin’ down
grateful for you by my side
love the way we build each other up
love the way you’re strong and kind
All the ways you make
the things that I say
the moves that I make
my day to day
better
I’m crazy for you, for forever
(guitar solo)
In this world
that is burnin’ down
grateful for you by my side
love the way we build each other up
love the way you’re strong and kind
All the ways you make
the things that I say
the moves that I make
my day to day
better
I’m crazy for you, for forever
My god, I thought I had lost it. The last 5 days produced some truly crappy songs. I went kayaking today, have been bumping a lot of 10ft Ganja Plant radio on Spotify, slept a full nights sleep last night. It’s been awhile since I’ve allowed myself to follow through with writing a reggae song.
(whistling)
it’s friday night
and I’ve got nothing to say
all week I’ve written down
exactly
words that are on the tip of
my tongue
i feel like I’ve been spending the
last five days
rummaging around my brain
trying to find the things
that
that make me feel like
I’m writing meaningful
songs, for everyone to sing along
to sing along
but i’ve been 30 days into writing
every waking sun up and sun
it’s taking a toll on my brain
so tonight
I don’t come to you
with something magical
I just come with what’s on my brain
the tip of the thing
the tip of it
here for you
that’s the chorus
second verse
here it comes for you
hope you can handle it
hope you can stand it
not everything can be
beautiful and crafted
sometimes you gotta just drink in that coors
with a lime
or bud light
some bullshit like that
it’s okay it’ll still make you feel good
still do the trick
go back to day 3
and listen to the similarities
all I do here
is do a little thing on the Ukulele
little slide
little feelin’
but that’s okay that’s okay
so tonight
I don’t come to you
with something magical
I just come with what’s on my brain
the tip of the thing
the tip of it
here for you
here is the bridge
oh it’s powerful
it’s fun and minory
feels like you’re dreaming away
the nighttime
here’s comes the chorus again
so tonight
I don’t come to you
with something magical
I just come with what’s on my brain
the tip of the thing
the tip of it
here for you
An empty box. That’s kind of what my creative reserves have felt like this week. Seriously, take my advice in this song, go listen to “Kostabi”, or songs from just about any other week. It’s okay though, hitting “the wall has to happen at some point. Here it is! Halfway through this 60 day challenge and I am definitely feeling it.
Do you think
in 100 years
people will see
photographs
of our leaders
eating animals
and because of that
pull down their statues?
And 100 years ago
if you were to be
thrown into
that day and age
would you
go with the flow
or would you fight
for what you know
today?
I know what I want
to say out loud
but what I really
want to say right
now is I don’t know
but is that allowed?
What is it today
that goes against the grain
that you are pushing for
put your life and your
well being on the line
to hold up the truth
willing to lose it all?
What if we all
believed in the same thing
chose to talk about it
differently
If we’d just see
and allow each other to
disagree
if we could all just
agree to work towards
ending, unnecessary
suffering
(whistling)
What do we think? Have I truly hit a wall? I would certainly say so. This one is definitely the first time in 32 days that I’ve truly felt like, “well this is complete garbage.” But, that’s part of the process and part of the challenge I suppose. This photo was taken while I lived in Eugene, OR. I have a thing for “alleyways”. There is something transcendent about them; you are pulled out of a particular place and sent down a road to who knows where? The spaces in between that connect the seen and the unseen. Damnit, I should have written about that...
I’m not trying to be
divisive
that’s not the goal or
mission I’m on
there are plenty of folks
doin the job
to provoke
I mostly just think it’s
kind of gross
the whole history of this country
hidden from view
as best they can
so all I am saying
are the things that I’ve learned
left out of all the pages I’ve turned
we can’t be afraid to look
how will we grow and be better?
we can’t be afraid to look
we can create our own better weather
It’s all around us
the problem at hand
slowly drowned us
i think that’s their plan
if we don’t start, looking
collectively at
the foundation laid down
so far back
it’ll never be clear
won’t come together
I fear
we can’t be afraid to look
how will we grow and be better?
we can’t be afraid to look
we can create our own better weather
I took this picture while on vacation in Albuquerque, NM in February 2020. I’ve hit a wall in my songwriting.
Another instrumental. Inspired by the way I was feeling tonight and a visual that was offered in my yoga class today taught by my dear friend Blair Borax (www.blairborax.com). The quick movement of the high-pitched clarinet and the low-pitched cellos mimics the visual of light dancing its way through your body. It starts in your hands, and it heals you and brings you energy and mobility as it moves through you. Though, I was tired as all hell today, hence the minor key.
Honestly though, I had more fun with the artwork tonight than the actual song. Like all the other artwork that I’ve created for each song, it’s pulled from my personal photo library of roughly 12,000 photos over the past 15 or so years. This one obviously had the most photoshopping work done to it, we’ll see what happens in the coming weeks.
An instrumental tonight. I’m exhausted.
Well the world is burnin
but it keeps on turnin
a-round
so won’t you be my lady
keep me from going
crazy
so won’t you be my baby
got more than just a
maybe
on your lips
come on and give me a kiss
i’ll kiss you back with all my love i promise
if you gotta play coy
I’ll play the role of your toy
just gotta understand
I’ll take your hand lead you where we’re goin’
Cause I’m your man
but I’m not really looking
for something like that
wanna be two ships sailin’
side by side
so tell me where you
let’s make the world
a better place
and let’s start with yours and mine
I think it’s time
woah woah
we’ll keep things spinning
and we’ll see the fire is from within
come on baby
let’s dive in
oh let’s begin
now i know what you’re thinkin’
don’t wanna lose me as yo friend, ha
ya i know where you’re at
been there before but the fix is simple
let me show you that
we’ve been friends for forever
and that never will end
even if we romance and the dance don’t work out
another story we laugh about
let’s make the world
a better place
and let’s start with yours and mine
I think it’s time
woah woah
we’ll keep things spinning
and we’ll see the fire is from within
come on baby
let’s dive in
oh let’s begin
Experimenting with a new songwriting style that I’ve always wondered about. Essentially, you record all the parts of the song with just your voice. That way, you don’t have to worry about getting the exact right sound in the moment of inspiration; something that often derails the creative process.
The drum and bass parts came to me at about 3:30am just after finishing “Illusion” while I was winding down after 5 hours of songwriting and recording. I didn’t remember I was in the midst of a “rest” day (Sundays) today until I was just about halfway finished writing “Yours & Mine”. You can sort of tell exactly where I remembered; the “ha” in the second verse is where the pressure came off and I just started to have fun with the song. I would have never added the ending part to this song if the pressure of writing a complete song was on. There’s definitely a lesson in that because I absolutely love the end result of this song. The ending was inspired by “Stinky’s Song” off Trevor Hall’s “This is Blue” album. I’ve always loved how playful it is, and how you get to feel like you’re there in a moment and a place with the recording artists.
Speaking of playful and goofy… the picture I used on the artwork is from a photo shoot I did pre-quarantine. It’s just so damned goofy and playful that I laugh out loud when I see it. Plus, it wasn’t planned. It was literally a moment in time between sets/shoots and captured my silly side as we transitioned from one serious “I’m a musician/artist” shot to the next.
what is the state of the union
it’s a terrible contribution
don’t understand
the abusin’
sick with power
you bringing us down
why you so scared of using
everybody who’s in the USA?
don’t, you see we’re actually losin’
you tearing down what actually makes us great
and so I say to you not only just the head a state
but all of you who’s heads are up his ass so far of late
the fuck’s the matter with your heart
and also with your brain
it’s not just politics it’s all of this this ain’t game
We’ll take matters
into, our own hands
put the power
into
the people
Four
hundred years of lying, stealing, cheatin
it’s time to find a better way of leadin’
take matters
into, our own hands
put the power
into
the people
Four
hundred years of lying, stealing, cheatin
it’s time to find a better way of leadin’
no time for a pause
the time for that is gone
gotta relearn the way
that we’ve been actin’
growing up taught lies in every lesson
Weak and racist who am I?
Thomas Jefferson
Our history, a mystery, less you dig in deep
disney version, candy coated
what they taught to me
on the regular the things I learn
deeply disturb
ain’t negligence at best it’s wordsmith
violence
the things they left out,
the silence
it makes me sick to my stomach
30 years on this earth
30 years before I learned it
We’ll take matters
into, our own hands
put the power
into
the people
Four
hundred years of lying, stealing, cheatin
it’s time to find a better way of leadin’
take matters
into, our own hands
put the power
into
the people
Four
hundred years of lying, stealing, cheatin
don’t you think it’s time to find a better way, who’s leadin’?
I’ve been facin’ all
my fears
all the demons I’ve
known for years
in some ways I’ve
learned to live
comfortably fit
tight in their grip
one by one
I face them down
lit the match
fire run ‘em out of town
burnin off the patters
I see
no longer need em
purely left with just me
Haven’t fully come to peace
with the devil, inside of me
but from the ashes I can see
new life,
has started,
growing
I’ve spent so much
of my life
fearing the day that
I will die
So lived every day
all in my mind
let moments slip away and
to so much I’ve been blind
little by little
let the stories go
watch the future
unfoled on it’s own
the more I practice
being still
the more each moment
leaves me fulfilled
Haven’t fully come to peace
with the devil, inside of me
but from the ashes I can see
new life,
has started,
growing
Haven’t fully come to peace
with the devil, inside of me
but from the ashes I can see
new life,
has started,
growing
When we gonna
realize
all that it’s about
money control
over our lives
we don’t even matter
ain’t about black or white
it’s power
fueled by lies
We’ve been brainwashed
to think a certain way
pinned against each other
pawns in their game
I don’t care
what they say
left and right
we want the same thing
so let’s let our guards
and get working
All the things we’ve learned
people places, all fixes
complacent
don’t even know we’ve been tricked
never taught the power
in our bodies we hold
hoeld down and poisoned
so we do as we’re told
I don’t care
what they say
left and right
we want the same thing
so let’s drop our guards
and get working
(whistling)
Caught up in a fight
quickly losing sight
let the puppeteers be seen
let’s bring to light
true humanity
I don’t care what they say
left and right
we want the same thing
so let our guards
and let’s get working
Another instrumental
Written with Film/TV/Sync Licensing in mind
Instrumental