Day 59.99 - 9/11/20 - Pray for Rain
we pray for rain
it’s insane
how the flames came lept out of the ground
called our name
can’t stay the same
time to change
no longer can remain
all the lessons that you’ve learned
time to act now
it’s your turn
At some point, I messed up the count. So… today SHOULD be day 59. But, oh well. Today I had some fun and just did one take of every track. I even kept my initial “word vomit” that I do just do get the idea out of my brain and into a tangible medium. It was a lot of fun. I ended up jamming to the bass afterwards at least 20 times. I started the day thinking that today’s song would be somewhere between Nine Inch Nails and Bon Iver’s newer stuff but… at some point this evening I caught some new inspiration and a new mindset and this is what came out.
Day 59 - 9/10/20 - Ashes Fall Down
I’m not to be trusted
no I don’t know understand
the place that I’m at today
can’t seem to be the one who can
I’m gonna suffocate
clouds no longer bring the rain
what’s out matches what was in
i never seemed to even learn
my lesson
but bring it on I’m game
never stop
even though I keep breaking
come kill me
and do your worst
i’mma do my best to keep the path
at all cost
in a box
no light
wasn’t the plan
but here I am
fuckit I’ll push till my last stand
red clouds
over head now
quick burn
where you gonna turn
smokescreen
in and out i mean
take cover
it’s a place
like no other
I’ve got no other place
edge of my mind headcase
all by my self I go and erase
all I had to show
please stay don’t go
i don’t even know
where I’m at
in the moment
it’s a hill I’ve gone
never to come back
it’s a moment of attack
i never let go of the picture that
i used to show
if you gonna stay with me
are you gonna burn at this tree
let it fall down
ashes spray out of the ground
we never going back to the place
before this all happened
red clouds
over head now
quick burn
where you gonna turn
smokescreen
in and out i mean
take cover
it’s a place
like no other
Day 58 - 9/9/20 - Will this too, pass?
There’s fire all around me
look out and see
on the other side
smoke wall
stacked tall
so that we can’t breathe
out cities
already ablaze
and now the rest
catches up
can’t escape
I’m feeling inside
the way I see it looks all around
can’t hide
is this the last chance?
hard to feel like this too it shall pass
today I’m supposed
to celebrate
the birth of my nephew
and the man that taught me
so much who
gave me the life
that I live
but all I can feel
Sepia tone existence
The way it all crashes down
mind and body
Curshed by the forces
let down
by the empty card
failed all
I did was put my
thoughts in a mark
I’m feeling inside
the way I see it looks all around
can’t hide
is this the last chance?
hard to feel like this too it shall pass
cycles and cycles around
will it continue
till I’m nowhere to be found
will I make it through the darkness
we are in?
who could know?
We’re all slowly breaking
Day 57 - 9/8/20 - Balance
No words
don’t know, the things to say
to move forward
it’s a balance act
constantly under attack
inside
no hiding
it’s all fiction
but it feels like fact
takin’ a ride
over the years
still holdin’ on
to simple fears
And we will say
all of the ways
we go on about
our separate days
it’s the little choices that we make
move us onward no mistake
so if we’re confused by
where we’re at
let us be more mindful
of th steps that
we take
I feel love
and I feel grief
I feel lost
finally the most
I’ve ever felt like me
on the top of a mountain
while I was there camping
saw all the connections
between the stars
like charlotte’s webbin’
I was given
the answer
handed the truth
I was after
It’s balance
and we should shout for
lives at the center
at the very core
And we will say
all of the ways
we go on about
our separate days
it’s the little choices that we make
move us onward no mistake
so if we’re confused by
where we’re at
let us be more mindful
of th steps that
we take
Day 56 - 9/7/20 - Cascading Leaves
Smoke is
hangin in the air
thick like a blanket
of despair
sky is red
and it is mirroring
the way we all feel
like the whole world is burning
I can’t escape
what’s in my head
stomach in knots
tight in the chest
all my tools feel
cast into the wind
blown down the street
watch it all fall down like
leaves cascadin’
It’s a moment in time
I try to remind
my self
in moments like these
when sirens wail
and it’s hard to tell
that life moves on
like cascading leaves
Hot in my house
summer is blazin’
fall drops the leaves
outside
but it’s still hazy
can’t open
my windows tonight
trapped held to doing
what’s right
I can hear
trees droppin’ things
wondering if one will
fall down on me
watch it all go away
like leaves cascading
(whistling)
It’s a moment in time
I try to remind
my self
in moments like these
when sirens wail
and it’s hard to tell
that life moves on
like cascading leaves
Day 55 - 9/6/20 - Rest day
Still backpacking.
Day 54 - 9/5/20 - Skipped
Was backpacking.
Day 53 - 9/4/20 - Skipped
Went backpacking. Will upload pictures later.
Day 52 - 9/3/20 - Howard St Days
In a world gone crazy in so many ways,
To harken back to those simpler, Howard St Days.
When the only ganges that roamed our mean streets,
where the “big kids” and “little kids” engaging in feats.
These gangs battled nightly in contests of will,
But the “big kids” would win by overwhelming “hill”!
”Little kids are poison”, you would hear them shout!
The outcome of the night’s game was never in doubt!
Remember, on Howard St. Baseball was always our sport!
Nothing was more important except, on occasion, building fort.
Oh, to hear “beat ‘em Bucs” echo all over our street,
”We had ‘em all the way”, these pirates were rarely beat!
There were only two teams that mattered on our block,
Our pirates and our team that would clean your clock!
Our team had eat players which was always the case,
From a permanent batter to a dog that played second base.
We never had money to do things kids find common today,
We had to get creative about the things we would play.
From building great structutres, with Mrs Davis’ toy bricks,
To putting on magic shows, complete with our own tricks.
To make money, we would charge to watch movies we had,
Our top feature, The Pin Cushion Man, was really pretty bad.
5 cent lemonade, $1 grass cutting and 25 cents for his picture,
were some of great money making ideas in the mixture.
One day, Dad taught us a new game to play “Duck on a Rock”
We called it “kick the can”, whatever its name it was hard to knock!
Baseball by day and kick the can by night both had something same.
The loser always had the painful “Raspberry bushes” to blame.
On rainy days or when it got dark, we moved our games onto the street.
For baseball, kick the can or just riding bikes, a safety rule was setup to meet.
To keep from getting hit by a car, the cry “C-A-R, C-A-R” became our warning,
You could hear our cry, “C-A-R, C-A-R” no matter if it’s day, night or morning!
There were many things, some not mentioned, that made Howard St unique!
There were problems and sad times but they never made things look bleak.
Things that happened, both funny and sad, that won’t happen anymore:
”Little’s” birthday parties, the driveway wall, the first step out the back door,
Dad’s birthday Christmas eve, Mom being chauffeured by the garbage man,
Our backyard pool, Our family booth at St Bart’s fair, Vacations with all the clan,
A game of pit, Tippy with a hole in his head, How we got by with one bathroom,
11 of us and Tori, living in a three bedroom house, Never that plight with gloom!
Howard St taught us what matters; Mom and Dad used that to get us ready for life.
I may be the luckiest because Howard St gave me something extra, a beautiful wife!
At a family reunion 7 or 8 years ago my Uncle Tom handed me these lyrics and invited me to put them to music. Here I am, years later, to celebrate Uncle Tom and Aunt Susie’s 50th wedding anniversary… putting these to music!
Day 51 - 9/2/20 - Blind Spots
I’ll upload it later.
Day 50 - 9/1/20 - Ground Down
Do you feel it in your bones?
Have you let it go?
Is it gonna be a fight?
you think it’s black and white?
We going out to the streets?
And are you lookin at me
I could be anyone
We’re caught in the weapon
It’s amazin still
heart breakin I feel
level round 10
every waking moment
but it’s a time to be better
a time to dig in this
together
I’m taking the day to be
I’m taking away what I see
feet planted in the dirt with the trees
ground down to what I am what is me
10 days left. This is where we really start to expand the boundaries. This one is experimental Pop, I suppose. Artwork has nothing really to do with the song, it’s just a great photo. I took it while Kayaking this weekend. Because I make the rules.
Day 49 - 8/31/20 - One Way
right left
keep on going now
except, if you won’t own it
better yet, why you don’t slow it
before you, go and go and and blow it
in the morning won’t you wake up
before the dawn get an early start
body screams i know it hurts
but push on now
you know you’re better for it
One way
ticket to Sunday
will you make it
know you
are feeling beat down
you’re breakin
inside
you’re making too many
decisions
outside don’t even recognize
the things you see
give it all
up to the higher love
up in the sky above
if that’s what you believe
put all your energy
into the place of need
give it that loving
in your heart find so deep
What a damn roller coaster. I started writing a different song on the Ukulele because I was cleaning up my computers. But, then I decided “screw it” and jumped onto the computer. I started with the drum kit and beat, then added the piano. Then I realized I was writing a song that was inspired by an Instagram story I saw earlier today. He’s an artist I met at CD Baby’s DIY Musician Conference a couple of years ago. His name is Gospel Lee, he’s a christian hip hop/rap artist and his tagline is, “Quality Hip-Hop Your Mom Would Be Proud” and I love it. He’s an amazing dude. I felt chills watching the video he posted of a performance… in the before times. Even though I have long shaken off my christian (catholic) beliefs, I still got chills watching the power of his performance. So, apparently that came out in today’s song so I just owned it. My voice was feeling scratchy and kind of sounded like another CD Baby artist named Mark Erelli. He’s got a real Bruce Springsteen vibe going, and his voice is very much “Mark Erelli”.
So, this is my “Americana/Christian/Rock” song.
I was totally sick of it up until recording the guitar solo, and then felt re-invigorated up until the 11th take.. and then I was over it again. Then I had to start the vocals and was suuper over it at that point because I had no idea what to write. I decided to do what I always do, and write literally what I’m doing/or thinking about. I was shifting my weight back and forth between my right and left foot, which kind of felt like marching, so I started there. I want to wake up early in the morning and do my workouts and meditations before work, but I continue to have trouble making that happen. Ultimately, the chorus just runs up to the super “God-y” line, touches it, and then backs away as quickly as possible while still directing the listener (me) to pour love into the world. By the end of recording I was in love with the song and so excited to record layer upon layer of vocal harmonies as I began to understand and get the weird and random pacing and phrasing of the chorus down.
Time to complete the nightly songwriting routine by showering off the sweat and grime of a day in an air conditioner-less ~128 sq ft tiny home, while listening to the finished song a million times, by myself, in the orange glow of my “salt lamp” that sits in my sleeping loft.
Thanks for being part of this absurd adventure.
Day 48 - 8/30/20 - Rest Day
At first I was like, “man it’s not a 60-day challenge if we’re taking Sundays off.” But then I realized, there wouldn’t be 60 days of songwriting without some breaks good god.
Day 47 - 8/29/20 - Expression
(whistling)
What is the way
that you show
to those around you
the ones you know
those who you are
close to
and see the beauty
humanity and
essence of the universe
that you are
they see that
how do you
welcome them in
to your heart
how do you open up
where do you start?
where is the place
that you begin?
what’s your first step?
Service, touch, or word
come on, come on
tell me my friend
I see the strength that you bring
even though I know you might feel
that you are suffering
so tell me, so I can tell how
much to me
you mean
(whistling)
We need more expression
we’ve got to stop expecting
that we’ll open our eyes
every morning is a blessing
it’s another day we’re given
but it’s not a given we’re getting
more breath than that
last breath in
So open up your heart
maybe start with looking in the mirror
and forgiving the one you see
for ripping and tearing yourself apart
and maybe eventually
you can move
to sharing your feelings
with those who
need to hear it
don’t make ‘em guess
or assume anything
I see the strength that you bring
even though I know you might feel
that you are suffering
so tell me how you hear it
tell me so I can tell you
how much you mean to me
(whistling)
Whoops, still working on freeing up space on my computer so… can’t make an mp3 version to put on here nor can I make any album art so. Here’s what I’ve got.
Day 46 - 8/28/20 - Which Way
Honestly, I think I peaked. I’m ready for this challenge to be over so that I can focus more than a couple hours on a song. It’s great, this challenge has put me in a really wonderful mindset. But, there’s still over 2 weeks left to go.
Also - wow this mix sounds terrible if you are just playing it over your laptop speakers. Sorry for that..
Day 45 - 8/27/20 - Let Love Come Out
whistling
I’ve, got my head, between my knees
and my hands on my head
quiet and desperate
I’ve got love, in my veins
comes out as I breathe
when I’m exhaling
slow, and steady
whispers, echoing
truth lies, and everything
in between
i’ve sat, for too long
love stagnant
in my heart
is there no place to let it out?
I see the world crumbling
is this the end or the beginning?
A shell cracked? Or a seed splayed in the sun?
I can’t tell, but I feel it in my bones
I’ll tell you, you’re not alone
No you’re not alone
We’ve not tried it all
it’s a scary thing, but we’ll evolve
We’ve got to speak truth
let the love come out of you
Now with my feet
crossed, in my lap
and my hands are on my knees
obverve thoughts cross my mind
breathe them in and out deeply
let it all go, in the end
follow the trail that’s blazin
and end all suffering
whistling
is this the end or the beginning?
A shell cracked? Or a seed splayed in the sun?
I can’t tell, but I feel it in my bones
I’ll tell you, you’re not alone
No you’re not alone
We’ve not tried it all
it’s a scary thing, but we’ll evolve
We’ve got to speak truth
let the love come out of you
Another example of me “making it happen.” Lyrics weren’t the greatest tonight. Came up with the ukulele parts in all of 30 seconds, spent the next 3 hours trying to write the lyrics… And so it goes.
Day 44 - 8/26/20 - Fallen
Welp, I did the thing. I composed a composition. Check that off the list and get to bed! -shrug-
Day 43 - 8/25/20 - Reflection
I am doing the work
3 months ago I said
but all I’ve done is
read books
how many deaths did I prevent?
What actions did I take?
or did I slip into the bystander role
yet again?
I have seen my reflection
and it’s not who I am
still seeing a projection
fear, still holds me back
so how strong are my values
if upon em I don’t act?
Come on, come with me
and be honest
she said move at the speed of trust
but the time is now
now is when we must
who’s name, must we learn next?
how many have been hidden,
never written in text
I confess I don’t know
many names
And I’ve given up too many to learn
but doesn’t that alone say
the problem is simple
it would seem
but it hurts like so many
other truths we’ve hidden
I myself am biased
and so we’re all
so lets start right there
let that be the first square
Come on, come with me
and be honest
she said move at the speed of trust
but the time is now
now is when we must
Coming off of the first anti-racist book club Zoom meetup we’ve had in a couple of weeks. Re-evaluating where I’m at and what I’ve done in the last couple of months. The picture is a random doorway that caught my eye while I was living in Eugene. Honestly, too tired today to put too much thought into the artwork, just going through the process.
Day 43 - 8/24/20 - Meet me in the light
Hold on to that feelin
it’s gonna make you break the shadow
of your former self
get higher and higher
climb up and and outta that well
ya fell
so many years ago
and you’ve climbin one brick at a time
steady as you go now get into that flow
it’s time to live the rest of your life
come come on I’m with you right here
come up come up time for you to reappear
don’t wait
don’t hesitate
I believe in the power of you to leave
your old ways
keep making waves
where you’re at now
ain’t where you wanna stay
it will be hard I know
it will be sad at times
but you’ll be better off
when you reach that light
at the end of the tunnel
that isn’t the end of the line though
much more, beginning of something
so so much more beautiful
I’m with you
I say
but you gotta meet me
halfway
trust in the strength you feel
you got your own power
gotta know it’s real
go after
what you want
if your heart leads
you can’t go wrong
no harm if you keep it that way
keep it up and meet me in the light of day
what is it that you want?
back up and ask yourself
what is normal?
what are the things you need?
And can you get away
with givin’ up all of the things in between?
we gather so much baggage
you’d think we’re
constantly
traveling,
train hopping
guess we are
but maybe there’s another way
to get as far
and maybe feel better say
re-imagine the people, the places, the things
that you wanna surround yourself with
and lean in and lead with that
knowing, that’s the path, that’s the road
you’re going
it will be hard I know
it will be sad at times
but you’ll be better off
when you reach that light
at the end of the tunnel
that isn’t the end of the line though
much more, beginning of something
so so much more beautiful
I’m with you
I say
but you gotta meet me
halfway
trust in the strength you feel
you got your own power
gotta know it’s real
go after
what you want
if your heart leads
you can’t go wrong
no harm if you keep it that way
keep it up and meet me in the light of day
Made this one in record time (pun intended). Start to finish, about 2 hours. You can definitely hear it though. Meaning of the song…. loose. Tones on the guitars are not-so-great, and the mix in general is garbage. Buut, I’m free! Time to go to bed! TG. It is really make me stoked to be done with this challenge, so that I can spend all week on a song and make it sound legit AF.